Finding our voice...

It's the perfect storm...

Racism. A pandemic. An economic recession. 

Racism is not new. But these circumstances are new. The world had slowed down and we were all witness to the murder of George Floyd. This time...we are paying attention. This time...real change could happen...is happening.

For two weeks now, I have been reeling with emotions...anger, outrage, helplessness, despair. I've been trying to process what to do, how to be, what to say.

Whatever response I write here seems inadequate. I don't have the right words. I'm sure that I will say something wrong. It's ok. When I do, I invite someone to correct me. 

I am really aware that I don't know what I don't know.

I have a lot to learn about racism. And it starts with an admission of white privilege.

I am a white liberal woman of privilege, who, up until now. has been sitting on the sidelines of racism. 

I understand that silence is no longer acceptable, even if I'm not sure what to say. 

I'm learning what it means to be an "anti-rascist". Brene Brown interviewed the author of How to Be an Antirascist by Ibram X. Kendi. Listening to this podcast is an hour well-spent. A member of my Aging Boldly Facebook group,  wrote: 

"Oh my goodness!! This podcast was incredible! I learned so much. My mind was opened in a completely new way."

And that's the point, isn't it? to have our minds opened up in a completely new way?

I watched the documentary on Netflix, 13th, which is a reference to the 13th amendment abolishing slavery. Expect your minds to be opened up in a new way as well. 

There is much to learn. Will you join me?

I am trusting that you have your own list of resources that you are studying to learn about racism in America. I would love it if you would share with me what you are doing. What steps you are taking. 

I attended two peaceful demonstrations last week in the Cleveland area supporting BlackLivesMatter and to mourn George Floyd. I was moved by the diversity of ages and race in attendance. 

The most poignant moments for me came when a young black man "took a knee" and listed many injustices against himself and other POC who had attended Shaker Heights high school. So many wrongs that were part of his everyday life. Many "took a knee" with him.

In my coaching practice and in my personal life, I have been delving deeply into the subject of visibility...the fear of becoming visible, the suffering of invisibility. 

Visibility is a complex topic which is played out in a myriad of ways, particularly for women. The subject is relevant for today's post.

So many of us have remained invisible around the subject of race. 

For a recovering "good girl" like me, I learned in my childhood how to avoid controversy, play it safe, be compliant, not rock the boat. I learned to choose my words carefully and try to anticipate others thoughts. Banishing the "good girl syndrome" is all about recovering from habits of suppression and accommodation. Finding our voice and breaking the silence is important on so many levels. 

Sending you all love and understanding during these challenging times.

Rose

It's time to Face Everything and Rise (F.E.A.R.)!

We all know what the big news is these days...

I'm going to assume that as you are reading this, you are following the new norm of "social distancing", as I am. No Unity church for me this morning (canceled). A Virtual Date with a friend last night vs. meeting in a restaurant. A webinar today which takes the place of an in-person Meet-up.

Is this true for you? There was a defining moment when all this talk about COVID-19 became very real for me personally.

I stopped in at my local grocery store a few nights ago after working out. With surprise, I nabbed the very last available grocery cart. The store was packed. In amazement, I witnessed what I had only read about in the news. All the aisles with meats, bread, and yes...toilet paper, were stripped bare. They were empty.

I felt like I was in a movie...a very surreal one. Everyone was acting reasonably, but I could feel that underneath the normal behavior, fear lurked. Bigtime fear. Huge, crazy fear.

I will admit that I was really shaken. In that moment, I was very conscious of my age...68, well into the "at risk" category. I experienced my aloneness. I felt small and unseen.

I experienced a sense of impending catastrophe...a throwback, I've since realized, to a familiar feeling from my childhood.

(I'm curious if anyone else experienced this...I'd love to hear.)

In the 48 hours since that happened, I experienced a whole range of emotions, which can be captured by the above quote from Zig Zigler:

"F.E.A.R. has two meanings: 'Forget Everything And Run' or 'Face Everything And Rise.' The choice is yours."

I see now that my surreal moment in the grocery store threw me into a Forget Everything And Run mode, which briefly meant wallowing in the negative news cycle, feeling anxiety and falling into catastrophizing.

Until...I gained awareness. Until..I caught myself.

Now, I've shifted to a Face Everything And Rise attitude. And I am here to tell you...this is the way to go, lol!

Here is my checklist:

• Be responsible and do what is necessary to take care of yourself (social distancing, stockpiling, cleanliness, creating “safe space” etc). There's lots of information out there about this, so I won't repeat it. But do it!

• Choose your thoughts. Decide what you will take in. Distance yourself from social media and the news.

• Focus on gratitude and all the good that you have...right now! I know that there's lot of good in your life, just like there is in mine.

• Meditate. Just 10 minutes 2-3 times a day will positively impact your immune system in astounding ways. Watch this 6-minute Youtube video by Joe Dispenza (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEIrUnOGbKQ) on the power of gratitude and meditation on our immune system.

• Move your body and B-R-E-A-T-H-E. Dance, stretch, exercise, breathe...all will help you to RISE and raise your vibration!

• Connect with others. Especially in this time of social distancing, we can and must reach out. Call your friends and family. Connect via live video chats...Facetime, Skype, Zoom. Isolation can be a time for self-reflection and getting lots of s*** done, or it can encourage depression and negativity. Know yourself and what you need.

  I am here ready to meet more of you on my Virtual Coffee Chats, (https://www.rosecorrick.com/coaching) so please...continue to take me up on these. I'm loving them...

  One more important item for my checklist on how to Face Everything And Rise...

  Appreciate beauty in your life. Take a walk and appreciate Mother Nature and her beauty. Walk around your home and find beauty in your surroundings. Appreciate your pets and your children and your grand babies. Appreciate an inspiring movie or documentary.

  There is actually great opportunity for change during times like these. Our fear is a gateway which shows us what needs to be healed. Believe it or not, we can actually be grateful for fear because it shows us the way.

  I shared with you the feeling of "impending doom" that got triggered in me with this pandemic. I have seen it as an opportunity to clear this very old childhood pattern on an even deeper level than I already have.

  So yay! Isn't it great?? Let's celebrate the opportunity to learn and live with grace and boldness!

  Click below to schedule your Free Virtual Coffee Chat with me and let's talk, ok?

  Sending love and friendship to each of you, Rose

Meet Gini Corrick - A Rock Star of Aging...for sure!

Gini Corrick, age 80, winning the coveted People’s Choice aware in Paducah, Kentucky, for her hand-dyed, chenille coat and hat

We all need role models in life, people that show us what is possible.

My mother, Gini Corrick, was one of those for me.

It wasn't until after I had landed upon my new business theme of Aging Boldly that I realized that my mother was the inspiration for this new direction. Gini faced aging with a boldness that was remarkable, even astonishing.

I could give you a list of all the incredible accomplishments of my mother's life, one of which is featured in the photo above, but as amazing as they were, they wouldn't convey the bigger story of her spirit.

The story that I want to share is what I can only describe as "transformation" during the last 18 years of her life. Gini truly came into her own when she moved to Minneapolis after the passing of my father, when she was age 76. She courageously began a new life, she made new friends, she passionately developed her talents as an artist, she gave freely and openly of herself to others, becoming a mentor to many and a deep lover of learning.

She became the person that everyone wanted to be...how often did we hear:

I want to be like Gini when I grow up?

What made her my first Rock Star of Aging was the love for life that she exuded.

• It was her ability to feel wonder and joy for each new project that she undertook and for every day that she embraced.

• It was her authentic appreciation for others that made YOU feel like you were a rock star when you were with her.

• It was her optimism that shone through, regardless of the challenges that she faced in life. She creatively expressed her passion in her creative ventures. (Note: she would have loved to have expressed that passion of hers in other ways. A favorite memory is mom telling me at age 92: "Oh, if only I could make love just one more time.")

• And she shared her wisdom freely and without pretension with others.

  I have really pondered what evoked the transformation in Mom in her later years. Yes, she always had an exuberance for life that you couldn't miss and wanted to be around. But she faced many challenges being married to a complicated alcoholic husband and raising five children. And yes, she made mistakes...as we all do.

  I see now that my mother's seemingly effortless ability to age boldly could only have been a choice.

  She made a decision to live life to the fullest and get the very most most out of each moment that she was alive. And to do this, she had to learn a big lesson...

  In 2010, Mom and I were traveling together in Paris, sharing a tiny room with two twin beds, which we pushed together to create more space.

  She was already well into her role of aging boldly...and I asked her: “Mom, how did you learn to become so happy?”

  To which she answered: “honey, I learned to forgive myself.”

  How simple and how profound.

  We have to forgive ourselves to be able to accept ourselves. We must let go of the burden of self-judgment and self-doubt in order to really make the choice to embrace aging, as my mother did.

  We are never too old and it is never too late to begin to age boldly. My sister, Kim and I remind each other, on days where we are not feeling very bold, that she began her metamorphosis at age 76. And look what she did in those next 18 years!

  This is the closing from the eulogy that I wrote for my mother over two years ago:

  "Witnessing how my mother lived her life in her last chapter, and especially in the last year of her life, is her gift to me...her legacy. In her dying, my mother showed me how to live. I mean, how to really live, with a sense of wonder at how beautiful this life really is, if...I choose to see it.

  She leaves me with an invitation, an invitation to let go of my stories...of not having enough time, of not going good enough, of my worries...and to step into the light of wonder and joy and love."

  I invite you all to join me in accepting this invitation.

I'm introducing a new idea of a Free Virtual Coffee Chat. I want to get to know my readers...what matters to you and what you want to hear about. Just click on this link and schedule some time with me. No strings...just a Virtual Coffee Chat.

Here's to you living boldly today, my beautiful friends... With much love, Rose

Gini Corrick, age 92, at an Art of Cloth photoshoot, modeling for the fall collection.

The Only Person You Should Compare Yourself To

I love this quote.

I laughed out loud when I read it.  Maybe it's the "extremely beautiful" that makes me laugh.  Or maybe it's the absolute truth of it. This is all we have to do.  Stop comparing ourselves to anyone else.  Just one simple step.

Here's the problem with comparing: 

We are either less than or better than whoever we are comparing ourselves to...and neither feels good.

If we manage to dodge the bullet and we are actually OK with whoever we are comparing ourselves to, we are still using someone else as the measure of our OKness.  

And in my book, that's not OK :)

At the core of comparing, is doubt about our own self-worth.  

How about this?  Let's get to the place where we are enough and know that we matter.  

In 2012, I was taking a personal growth program at the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, where I dug deep into my own beliefs about self-worth and realized how crippling comparing myself to others can be.  

I resonated with the simple statement of I MATTER. 

This statement said that I have a special place in this Universe which is mine and mine alone.  That I am unique, important and that I MATTER.  

My opinions matter, my feelings matter, my wants and needs matter.  

I found that when I really know this deep down in my core, then I don't need to look to others to confirm my value.  And I don't need to compare myself to anyone.

There is huge relief in letting go of this one...and after relief, there is peace and more internal space.  When we are not worrying about things we have no control over, then we can go live our lives.  We can go create and have fun.

See the fun I had creating some artwork around I MATTER.  

Do you compare yourself to others?  What you look like at work...in relationships?

Drop me a line. I would love to hear from you.  

In my coaching practice, I support my clients in knowing that they really do matter.  I work with women who are in transition in their lives and need support in managing change.  You hear about "reinventing yourself", but what does that really mean and how do we actually do it?  

Our inner critic can be so verbal and loud that we often can't find a way to do this on our own.  

As a coach, I provide a safe and supportive space, allowing you can to explore where you want to go from a new vantage point.  I ask the questions that can open you up to a new way of thinking.  It's not magic, but the process can be pretty magical :).  

Let's try a free Discovery Session together.

It takes courage to show up and try something out of your comfort zone.  But that's where change starts.

How about it?  You know...you do matter.

With love, Rose